Normal

What is normal, anyway?  After my dad died 2009, I said I needed to figure out what the "new normal" was.  Everything was turned upside down and I had to figure out daily life without my dad around.  It has certainly been hard, and I miss him all the time.  I even hate to admit that it has become normal without him here.  Trips to Utah are not the same because he is not there.  But sadly I am used to that now.  Although on my next trip out there, it will be even more different, because my mom sold their house and moved into an easier-to-manage apartment closer to family.  So maybe that won't be normal.  Anyway....again I am facing life changes and figuring out the new normal, again.  Maybe that is what life is like when you are a grown up.  Or maybe that is just what life is like when you face challenges?
A couple that used to be in my ward at church were facing some HUGE challenges. They had been married about a year, and his cancer (diagnosed at age 17) which had been in remission returned with gusto. He had a healthy perspective on life and did not take things for granted as he faced so many challenges at such a young age. He had great zeal and zest for life and adored his wife. His cancer returned and ultimately took his life at a super young age. I could write so much more about them, and more thoughts I had. But to say the least, it made me look at myself--what do I take for granted and how am I living my life?
Life has been very hard for me lately. It has for awhile now. I want so badly to be 'normal' again. But I guess 'normal' is what I make it. I have had moments where I have kept all of my hard times to myself. I have also had times where I could share thoughts and feelings with friends and loved ones, and have seen that makes all the difference in my well being. It is up to me, and I think that's how I can find that 'new normal' and press forward with a positive outlook. Life is always changing and we are going to continue to have challenges placed in front of us. I joke that God has a lot for me to learn, because he keeps giving me challenges to overcome! Someday I will be gratful for this hard time. I am becoming stronger and will hopefully have learned some valuable life lessons when all is said and done :).
One thing that has helped me lately is knowing that God loves me. He will not give me challenges that I can not get through. Yet I think I have also learned that when something seems very difficult and unable to face, He places people in our lives to help us when we can't do it alone. The Savior is always there for us and can carry us when we can't walk, and sometimes we have actual people to step in and figuratively carry us. I have learned that one of the things I am NOT good at is asking for help. Even though I have learned it, I am still not very good at it, but I am so grateful for loving people who have been angels in my life.
So whats the point of writing all this? I have just been thinking lately about how I want things to go back to normal again. Well, 1) in due time...........and in the mean time 2) it's all in what I make of it! :).